Monday, June 15, 2015

at the heart of suffering

Monday 6/15/2015

The journey towards healing begins with surrender.  I thought about this while fixing a peanut butter and jelly sandwich this afternoon.  I also thought about how I've missed posting on my blog.  So here I am again, after a hiatus of several weeks!  Summer is here, and I've been transitioning into a slower pace of life.  It feels good.  I'm reading Anna Karenina, and I'm working on writing my novel.  I went to a Crime Writers conference in Culver City last week, and it inspired me to make some major changes to the piece I've been working on.  I've been messing with that.  And I'm also taking stock of this past year...what worked, what didn't.  A lot of good things happened this past year.  And at the same time, it had its share of challenges.  Is there a word in English for "hilarious exhaustion", where you feel so tired it's almost funny.  I've always hoped that at the heart of suffering you find this enormous well of laughter.  Anyhow, I'd like to bake something soon and catch up with what's going on in the world.  Maybe etch a poem or few.  Meanwhile, the days are proclaiming summer, and my dreams move like frantic fish.  I see them passing by while I sleep, but I can't hook them into waking.  By the time I open my eyes, I've forgotten what they were about.

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